Cheo and I have been talking a lot about parenting lately, since we're in the process of changing our parenting style. A lot of the concepts of unschooling seem very foreign to us, but as we talk them through, most of them are really logical. This morning we were talking about the differences between our previous traditional parenting method and the unschooling way of thinking. It seems that the biggest difference is that in unschooling you are trying to calmly and lovingly guide your child by giving them choices, whereas in traditional parenting you're trying to get your child to do the "right" thing by making that the only option. The consequence of not "choosing" it is punishment.
No wonder so many people have such a poor concept of God. They see Him as a controlling parent who forces them to do things they don't want to do and is waiting for them to make a mistake so He can punish them. Sound familiar? Then your parents probably followed the traditional parenting style.
During our conversation, Cheo suggested that God's way of parenting actually lines up closely with the unschooling philosophy. He presents us with many choices, suggests which He feels are the best and then allows us to make our choice. There are natural consequences for "poor" choices, but He doesn't yell or bully us into making the "right" choice.
I believe that God's laws were put there to help us understand which choices would harm us physically, spiritually and emotionally. I believe He is a loving parent Who doesn't get angry when we make the wrong choices, but is sad that we have chosen to harm ourselves. Think of a parent telling a child not to touch the stove so she won't burn herself. If she touched the stove, we would be very sad that she made a choice that caused her harm, but we wouldn't be angry with her or throw her out of our family because she made that choice. We would cover her with love, and care for her until the hurt had healed. And she would learn that touching the stove is harmful to her and would probably never do it again. (But if she did, our response should not be any different than the first time it happened. Not everyone learns from their first experience with pain.)
Our goal is to parent as God has demonstrated to us. He guides us, allows us to make our own choices and experience the natural consequences of those choices, and He continues to shower us with love no matter what choices we make. What a great Parent! :)
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